Quick Note:

Puerto Vallarta is awesome. Gastroenteritis is not. That is all.

On Babyloss.

The loss of a child is something of a taboo subject. Whether the loss occured during pregnancy, in early term or late, or after delivery, or even after a birthday or two, the tragedy of losing a child is something so devastatingly private that we feel embarrassed by it. As though being in proximity to a grief so great is somehow shameful. And so we don't talk about it; we don't think about it; we skirt around its edges and try not to touch it.

But chances are very good that you know somebody who has experienced it first hand. She might never have told anybody; the pregnancy might have come to an abrupt and unheralded halt before she was even ready to announce it. Or she might have had the nursery already painted; dad may have put together the crib; they may have gone to the hospital in a sate of eager, nervous anticipation and come home with empty arms, to find an empty room, with hearts full of love and no baby to give it to.

Today, my heart goes out to little Baby Isaiah James and his family. I pray that his parents find the room they need to grieve. I pray that they find strength in one another, and grace and peace in the God they so firmly believe in.

And I pray that Isaiah is with Mrs. Spit's Gabriel.

** For more on this story, visit Isaiah's facebook page.

On Schedules.

Some things, I can do on a schedule. I can say, with reasonable certainty, that dinner will be on the table at seven. That Tris's bath will be at eight. That he will wake up sometime between midnight and 12:30 to nurse; that we will be out of bed for the morning at about a quarter past eight. I am fairly reliable when it comes to keeping doctor's appointments, or picking people up from the airport or bus station.

However, that's about it. I have no idea, for the most part, how long it will take me to get ready to leave the house in the morning. I honestly couldn't tell you what time Tristin will want to take a nap, or when he will nurse during the day*. I'm not very good at meeting up for coffee, especially if we've tried to plan it a few days in advance, and for that, I am sorry. But the fact of the matter is, I have a ten-month-old baby. In all probability, I got less than five hours of sleep the previous night**, haven't had any caffeine in three days, can't remember the last time I took a shower that lasted for more than seven minutes, and don't even realize that one or both sides of my nursing bra are undone. So I apologize for not being on time, or even showing up at all; but really, truly, I promise, it's not personal.







* For those of you who would smugly point out "But I thought you ALWAYS nursed Tristin on a schedule," I would like to draw your attention to the fact that Tristin' hasn't been on a nursing schedule since he was about five months old. Much to my chagrin. And yes, this has been mentioned on this blog before.

** Actually, this one isn't so much a probability as a near-certainty, since I haven't had more than five hours' sleep since Tristin was four months old. (And yes, I DO think that the nursing schedule, and subsequent lack thereof, are related to the fact that Tristin still nurses at night.)

On Second-Hand Stuff.

As a follow up to my post on budgeting, I thought I'd mention my recent love-affair with second-hand stuff. For Tristin, I have access to a fantastic store called Once Upon a Child. If you've never been there, or don't have one in your city/province/country, the way it works is this:

1) Bring in whatever your child doesn't wear/use/play with anymore, provided that it's clean and in good condition.
2) The salesperson will appraise it, and give you cash or store credit.
3) Shop for new clothes/items/toys for your child's current developmental stage.
4) Lather, rinse, repeat! You can basically get a whole "new" wardrobe for your child every 3-4 months for around $20, if you're smart and careful!

For myself, I mostly rely on friends who are clearing out their wardrobes or buying new furniture, and then, there's always classified websites.

Now, don't get me wrong; second-handing is A LOT of work, if you want to REALLY make good. But it can be done! I've been burned a couple of times, but overall I've come out ahead - and that feels pretty darned good!

On Budgeting.

We are just now getting caught up from Christmas, which was financially more stressful than usual this year what with Wess being laid off at the beginning of December.

Budgeting is something that I struggle with almost constantly. Mathematically, it's pretty straightforward; take your income, subtract your necessary expenses, and what's left over is your laugh 'n' play, rainy day money. The problem is that while my income is greater than my expenses on paper, in reality it doesn't often seem to work out that way. There's always a bill that's a little higher this month, or an emergency situation involving pants*, or even just an extra tank or two of gas to get away and get some perspective for a couple of days. So now that we're all caught up, I'm going back to my tried-and-true budgeting method:

1) Calculate out my expenses, MONTHLY.
2) Divide all expenses by 2.
3) Pay bills/allocate moneys into appropriate accounts (e.g. rent, grocery, etc.) BIWEEKLY, based on pay periods.
4) Transfer at lease 60% of any remaining funds into long-term savings/RRSP's.

I did this before, when Wess was laid off for several months and we were living first off of my employment income, and then off of my (significantly lower) maternity leave benefits. And it worked extremely well, right up until an emergency (a real one, not a pants one**) required me to dip into my long-term savings. I'm determined to get to that point again - the point where I feel confident that we could get by for a month or two without having the heat, power, or phones cut off imminently (not that any of the above actually happened, but that's what it's felt like the last few months).

So, a 2-months-late New Year's Resolution:

To get my Budget Mojo back!




*The pants emergency: I was down to literally my last pair of pants that fit and had no holes in them (I'm sure you see where this is going)... when they burst a seam. Thankfully, the seam burst before I got to church.

**Wess's truck, our only reliable vehicle at the time, blew a tire beyond repair. Which, of course, meant that he needed not one but TWO new tires.

On Grandmothers.

Grandmothers are a wonderful breed, and Tristin is particularly blessed to have several of them - Wess's mum (a.k.a. "Gran"), my mum (Granny), my dad's wife (Nana B.), and Wess's best friend's mum (who has been granted honorary Grandma status). Last weekend, we went to visit my mum, who lives in Small Town, Alberta, a few hours' drive from here.

It was a fantastic visit, not least because I got some much-needed time off from being what I (only half-jokingly) refer to as "the first line of defense" for Tristin when it comes to everything from dirty diapers to feeding time to a fussy boy who needs a nap. (Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to cope with going back to work when I already work 18-20 hours a day, but I digress.)

Granny's house is kept reasonably clean, so I am comfortable letting Tristin roam free in the house - something I'm not even comfortable with him doing here at home, since we have been as yet unable to afford to baby-proof the main floor of the house. As well, Granny is unusually compliant with my rules when it comes to eating, playing, television, etc. I say unusually, because out of his four grandmothers, my mum is the only one who obeys these rules - and I don't mean makes a show of obeying, but actually double-checks with me if she's not sure about my feelings on something. I really appreciate that, and it helps to make those times that I can go up to visit seem more like vacations.

(Don't get me wrong - my mum and I have the usual issues, and I don't mean to be painting our relationship as all rosy, but thus far her relationship with her grandson IS all rosy, and that's why it's coming accross that way.)

Another nice thing about visiting at Granny's house is that Tristin gets exposed to more people - something I am striving to keep up, since I do NOT want to have to deal with a little boy who plays shy and screams anytime someone unfamiliar approaches him. With my return to work looming ever-closer on the horizon, I am mindful of the fact that Tristin will have to be going to a daycare or dayhome soon, and the more comfortable he is with new people, the more comfortable I will be leaving him with somebody.

And lastly, one of the best things about visiting Granny is the swag - after all, it is a grandparent's prerogative to spoil her grandchild the way she NEVER would have with her own child!

On the Olympics.

Ok, ok, so it's not particularly related to parenting. But the Olympics just wrapped up, and Canada did phenomenally well! So well, in fact, that the IOC is actually considering removing Women's Hockey from the Games. Well, I have one thing to say to that: THBBBBT.

Seriously, though, in a Games fraught with problems ranging from the tragic to the bizarre, we made an incredible showing. Both the hockey teams ruled the ice, K-Mart brought home a gold in Curling (and hopefully, the skip on the women's team won't be reliving that last rock in the 10th end for the rest of her life), the Hamelin brothers were the fastest EVER, and an entire nation mourned with Joannie Rochette as she skated through her grief. It was a Games to remember, that's for sure.

(For a more eloquent summary of the Games, check out Mrs. Spit's take on what they meant to Canada.)