On Other Parents.

Everybody who has children, or pets, or a marriage, or a car, or shoes, knows how irritating it can be to be on the receiving end of unsolicited advice. This can be anything from an innocuous, "Have you heard of/tried/thought about such-and-such store, product, sleep method, book, etc.?" to a passive aggressive "Well, I was always taught that doing things that way would make your child a sissy/mentally unstable/codependent/a vegetarian," to flat-out ignoring the wishes of the parent (and possibly child) by actually touching/feeding/speaking to the baby in a manner that has been expressly forbidden by the parent.

Most of us smile at the first, politely ignore the second (which, interestingly enough, is most common amongst people with no children of their own), and walk away from the third. A greater challenge is to keep ourselves from becoming that which we loathe, by becoming obnoxious founts of unwanted opinions on everything. (Yes, this blog contains both advice and opinions. However, I am not running around shoving it down other parents' throats, and I have tried to ensure that any advice I offer is accompanied by the disclaime that I am not an authority, simply a mum sharing what has and hasn't worked for me. Further to which, it's entirely possible that you came to this blog looking for advice, making it solicited. But I digress.) It means that we have to look away when our friends make parenting choices that we disagree with - because otherwise, we would have no friends who were parents. Let's face it, you and your friends are not going to have the same opinions on feeding, clothing, solids, diapers, toilet training, toys, television, sleeping, or prety much anything else. So don't bother trying to change your friend - share your views if asked, but otherwise, just keep your peace.

On Alone Time.

One of the hardest things I have to do as a young mum is make myself leave Tristin at home once in a while. I hate doing it, but it's necessary for me to stay sane. I love my son; I love spending time with him, playing with him, watching him discover things. I love the expressions on his face, the sounds that he's learning he can make, and all the little mannerisms he's developing. There is no question that I love him more than anything in the world, and that's why it's important for me to take some alone time once or twice a week.

When I'm at home, I'm a wife, mother, doctor, maid, cook, dishwasher, laundress, seamstress, carpenter, and any one of a thousand more roles that need filling around the house. I never have more than a minute or two to myself - and then something else needs doing. (Even now, I could be washing the floors, trying to fix the broken mop, putting the laundry away, folding diapers, cleaning the dishes from breakfast...you get the idea.) Once in a while, it's important for me to get out, without Tristin, and remind myself that I am also myself. That, in addition to all the things I am for other people, I am also me.

So how do I do that? Well, I go out for coffee with "the girls", visit friends, read books, watch movies, go for walks. Eventually, I'd really like to start going to the gym a few times a week. Or maybe take a class - I can feel my brain beginning to atrophy from lack of use. (You may or may not believe me, but I am a University graduate twice-over.) I'd like to start writing again - not a log, like this one, but a collection of short narratives. I'd like to rediscover my love of, and gift for, the written word.

I think one of the most important things new mums can do is to set themselves goals that relate more to who they were B.B. (Before Baby) than their new lives as mothers. It's easy to lose ourselves in the needs of our new families, but in the long run, what our families need is us, whole and happy. So sign up for a class, get back into running, or start a book club. Whatever you do, make sure that it's just for you!

On Travelling.

In just a few more weeks, Tristin, Wess and I will be going to Mexico. I am very excited about this, mixed with just a little bit of trepidation. Tristin and I have travelled together before; we've taken road trips to Cold Lake, Calgary, and even Colorado. But this will be the first time he's ever been on an airplane, and our first trip with Wess. It's my first trip to Latin America, and I'm also moderately anxious/nervous on that front: I speak no Spanish, and I detest temperatures in excess of 25 degrees Celsius.

(Aside: So WHY am I going to Mexico? I won airfare from AMA Travel to "Anywhere Air Canada Vacations flies!" Which was a slightly misleading wording to the contest, as I later discovered that I could only choose from their Mexican/Carribean destinations. However, I would like to point out: FREE AIR FARE. Not complaining. I chose Mexico because it's the only place that I had reliable information on in terms of accomodations etc.)

At any rate, it's going to be a great time - mostly because I'm determined that it will be great. And hey, if it worked on my LAST vacation (in which I threw my back out in my own driveway loading the car for the start of the trip - the car which later died in the middle of Wyoming), it will darned well work on this one!

On Babywearing.

I love babywearing. I have a Maman Kangarou stretchy wrap, which Tristin has almost-but-not-quite outgrown, and a Kelty backpack which we've just started wearing (although, to my chagrin, one of the buckles cracked after being slammed in the door, so we need to buy a new one). The wrap is awesome because it takes up literally no space; I can actually put it on before we get in the car, saving trunk space by leaving the stroller behind. And the Kelty, while it does take up a bit of room, is amazing because I can literally carry my chunky monkey in it ALL DAY LONG. It's incredible! Carrying my baby, instead of pushing him around in the stroller, helps me feel closer to him; I love being able to carry him, ESPECIALLY in the wrap. He hasn't fallen asleep in it in a long time, since he's way too big for a cradle carry, but it still settles him when he's being grumpy, so I think he loves it too.

On Swimming.

Tristin and I went swimming at his Gran's apartment complex pool today. It was awesome. Tris was wearing a Gabby's Swim Diaper, which did not get a full "test", thank goodness, but was certainly very cute. He had a wonderful time; so wonderful, in fact, that he was of the opinion he didn't need anybody to hold him up in the water. (And no, I didn't test his resolve on that; as determined as he was to strike out on his own, I still have about 200 lbs on him so he'll be doing things my way for a few years yet.) He really thought it was fantastic, and, as an added bonus, has slept longer tonight than he has in weeks. I'm thinking we'll be going swimming a LOT more often!

On Television.

I hate television. I dislike it in general, and I specifically hate it as it relates to parenting. If Wess would allow it, I'd have cut off the cable months ago. Since that's not possible, I try not to turn it on at all during the day (which works fine when Wess is working, not so well otherwise). When Wess insists on plopping Tris down in front of the T.V. - which is pretty much any time that I'm busy with housework, cooking, etc. - I give in to the inevitable, but hold hard and fast to a couple of rules:

1) Absolutely no programs that required large quantities of strong hallucinogenic drugs in any stage of their creation (Have you ever heard of a show called Yo Gabba Gabba? I rest my case.)
2) When possible, only channels that do not have commercials (PBS Kids, Treehouse, you get the idea). However, I waive this rule in deference to rule #1.)

The other night, when Tristin had refused to go to bed at a decent hour and I was trying to tidy the living room this show came on. I have decided that I love it, and am recording all the episodes until my DVR is full. If Wess insists on letting Tristin watch television, at least it will be cute, funny, imaginative, intelligent, and narrated with impeccable grammar and diction!

On Doctors.

Short post here.

Today was Tristin's 9 month checkup with our family doctor. Head, 97th percentile. Weight, 97th percentile. Height.... 60th percentile. Oh well, he's short and chubby. Doc's opinion is that Tris is healthy and happy, quite precocious as far as his standing/walking and babbling go. He asked the usual questions: still breastfed, no bottles or formula? (Nope.) Never a bottle in bed with him? (Um, see last question.) What and how much/often is he eating for solids? (This was kind of a longish discussion, since Tris is actually a bit behind on this front ever since his bout with a tummy bug last month, but the conclusion was just to keep doing what we're doing as far as offering several times a day, and encouraging finger foods and food play.)

And finally, the kicker: Is he sleeping through the night? (Nope, not even close. Still nursing 3-4 times/night.) Wait, HOW many times per night? (3-4 times. Cluster feeding from midnight to about 4.) Oh. Um. Does he take a pacifier? (Nope, never could get him to take one.) Huh. Well.

And then he asked the best question ever:

Do you mind that he's nursing that often? (Not as long as I get to nap during his afternoon nap.) How long is his afternoon nap? (2.5 hours, almost exactly.) And you feel that you're coping OK? (Like I said, I'm ok as long as I get a nap.)

Best conclusion ever:

Well. Ok then. Sounds like it's not really a problem; he is obviously using nursing to soothe himself back to sleep, and as long as you don't have much of a problem with that, we don't really need to worry about it right now.

I know for many mums, this would seem like a bad answer. However, in a world where breastfeeding past 6 months is an accomplishment, and breastfeeding into toddlerhood is actually frowned upon, it's kind of refreshing to know that Tristin's doctor has a bit more of a worldly attitude about it. Many medical professionals (including the several in my immediate family) are of the opinion that if a baby isn't sleeping through the night by 8 months of age, there is Something Wrong. Which usually translates into Mum is Doing Something Wrong. Which usually translates to weaning, something I, and certainly Tristin, have no interest in doing right now. So it's nice to hear a doctor say, "Hey, if it's working for you, no problem. If not, then we'll see what we can do about it, ok?"

On Pets.

I love Wess's cats. They are funny, endearing, and interesting. I definitely prefer cats over dogs. And, in theory, I fully support the idea of having a pet as part of the household. The cats provide the opportunity to teach Tristin all kinds of things - particularly the importance of being gentle while touching. It reduces the likelihood of his developing irrational fears towards other animals, and lays a groundwork for learning about empathy (yes, the cat ran away when you pulled his ears; how would you like it if I pulled your ears?). In theory, pets are wonderful.

In practice, they are... honestly, still wonderful. 99% of the time. The 1% of the time they are not wonderful is when Tristin has woken in the middle of the night to nurse, is mere moments away from drifting back to sleep, and Jupiter jumps up on the bed with a "Prrrrow?" (Anybody who lives with a cat is very familiar with this sound. If you don't, well, I'm sorry for you. On many levels.) This sound is usually endearing; upon hearing it, those who have cats in their home will usually scoop up the inquisitive feline for a nice cuddle, myself included - unless it just so happens to coincide with one of Tristin's wakeful moments. Because when that happens, Tristin suddenly realizes 3 things:

1) I'm in Mum's bed!
2) I've slept just enough that, while I'm still tired and should sleep for a few more hours, if I wake up now I'll have enough energy to play for an hour or two!
3) KITTY!!!!!

(Some would argue that the solution is to close the bedroom door. They clearly don't live with cats. Cats do not see a closed door as an insurmountable obstacle; rather, it is a combination scratching-post and audience for feline opera.)

So, when this happens - about one night every two or three weeks, I do the most sensible thing:

I let Tristin do WHATEVER HE WANTS to Jupiter.

Silly cat deserves everything he gets.

On Bedtime.

Now, anybody who knows the sleep struggles Tristin and I have endured and are enduring will take this post with a grain of salt. Obviously, I am no kind of authority on bedtime, since at 9 months of age Tris still isn't sleeping through the night. But this evening, I caught a bit of a glimpse into the importance of a bedtime routine.

Tristin does have a very predictable evening routine. Every evening after supper I give him his bath; he then goes with Dad to dry off and play on the bed for a few minutes while I tidy the bathroom. After he's had about 5 minutes of playing with his Dad, I take him, get him into his PJ's, sing him his bedtime song, read him his bedtime book (almost always Goodnight Moon, unless it's been left in the car), nurse him to sleep and put him in his crib. (Yes, I know the reason he doesn't sleep through is because of that last step. Popular opinion says that babies won't sleep through until they're able to be put down awake in their cribs at bedtime. I don't believe in allowing my child to cry, so that's not going to happen just yet. That's not the point of tonight's post, so I'll carry on.)

Tonight, since we're going swimming tomorrow, I wanted to shave my legs. In the interest of saving water, I figured I'd use Tristin's bath water to do so, and I asked Wess to take over the bedtime routine. Tris cried almost the entire time, and I think I can probably hazard a guess (or three) as to why:

1) Wess skipped the playtime, going straight to lotion/diaper/pj's. Tristin started crying almost immediately.
2) Wess didn't talk to Tristin about what he was doing. I am in the habit of giving Tris a running commentary of everything I'm doing: "And now we're putting lotion on your legs, and on your feet; and now it's time for a big stretch to get your arm in your sleeve." Conversely, when Tristin started to cry, Wess just tried to get the whole ordeal overwith faster, rushing Tris and probably upsetting him even more.
3) Wess didn't sing or read to Tristin; he put him in the playpen with the TV on.

As a result of this, Tristin was very worked up and upset by the time I'd finished in the tub, and took several extra minutes to calm down before getting his song, book, and nurse.

Now, as previously mentioned, I am the last person I'd ask for advice on bedtime; however, I'm pretty sure that tonight illustrates pretty clearly why it's important for both parents to approach bedtime more-or-less exactly the same.

On Cloth Wipes.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I made the decision to switch over to cloth wipes. It's something I've been meaning to do for some time; really, I've just been procrastinating. I honestly believed that cloth wipes would be more difficult, messier, and less effective than disposables - after all, disposable wipes were just so convenient for everything, from diapers to faces to a quick-clean of the high chair tray.

Boy was I wrong.

See, with the throwaway wipes, I was faced with the choice of putting the used wipes into the dirty diaper (like you would with a disposable diaper), only to have to peel them out afterwards - or, tossing them into the trash as I went, which can be a difficult trick while trying to hold a wriggling 25 pound baby's ankles up to keep his bum out of the poopy diaper on the change table.

Now, with the cloth wipes, I can lay them down in the dipe as I go - thus reducing the chance of Tristin's bum getting dirty again - and then just throw the whole thing into the diaper pail, to be washed all at the same time. What could be easier than that? And, as an added bonus, I made the wipes out of my old prefolds. Super-soft and lint-free from being washed 40 or 50 times, they make perfect wipes. And they're absorbant enough that if Tristin happens to turn the waterworks back on, no problem - I've got it covered!

(N.B. I also made my own wipes solution, using a very simple formula: 2 cups of warm water, 1 1/2 Tbsp of vitamin E oil or baby oil, and 1 1/2 Tbsp of baby shampoo or whatever you usually use during baby's bathtime. I keep it in an empty shampoo bottle, since I prefer wetting the wipes, but you can also use a squirty bottle and spray baby's bottom directly!)

Some more thoughts on Breastfeeding.

Just a few more thoughts on breastfeeding. I have my sincere doubts that anybody will use my hours-old blog as an authority on breastfeeding, but I feel an obligation to ensure that anyone who DOES come across it while searching for honest information gets as much as possible. What I'm about to say will not come as a shock to anyone who has breastfed successfully. If you have been unsuccessful in the past, and learn why through this post, please know that I don't intend for it to be hurtful, derogatory, insulting, or judgmental in any way. Much of what I'm about to post here is the result of overwhelming amounts of misinformation and lack of education. If you were the victim of this, it's not your fault.

Dos and Don'ts of Breastfeeding

1) DON'T pump and then bottle feed, at least not for about 4 weeks. There are many reasons mums choose to do this earlier, and some are valid. Some are not. We will examine a few right now.

"But how do I know how many ounces he's getting?"
Answer: You don't. It's not important. What's important is: he's gaining weight (at least 6 oz/week after re-attaining birth weight); he's wetting at least 4-6 times per day (easier to tell with cloth diapers, but some of the newborn size 'sposies have a wetness indicator strip on them), he's pooping at least once per day (usually 2-3 times, but some babies will just have one super-poop); his poop is mustard coloured and full of little curds or seeds. I reiterate: there is no need whatsoever to quantify how much breastmilk your child gets in ounces. It's not even meaningful, since there's no way to know how many calories your baby is getting per ounce. Breastmilk changes from mum to mum. It changes from morning to night. It even changes from the beginning of a feeding to the end of a feeding. The number of ounces your baby is getting is NOT. IMPORTANT. Whether he's gaining weight, making urine, and passing feces is the only meaningful measurement of how much he's eating and drinking.

"But my husband/partner/mum wants to feed him."
This IS valid. Feeding can be an important bonding experience, and the non-nursing parent often feels left out of this bond. I recommend waiting for your supply to establish itself; this takes about 3 weeks. I don't suggest waiting longer than 6 weeks, if you ever plan on bottle-feeding, because transitioning from breast to bottle, even with expressed breastmilk, can be difficult after that time. Once your supply is established, spend 2-3 days feeling out your baby's routine (if you nurse on a schedule, you can skip this step.) Find a time of day when baby is going at least 2.5 hours between feedings. Pump 1/2 to 3/4 oz (about 15-25 ml) from each breast after it's been 2 hours. Since baby is not going to nurse for another 30 minutes, your body will replenish most of that amount by baby's next feeding. Morning tends to be the best time for this, as the hormones that are responsible for stimulating milk production peak overnight. Personally, I pumped 3/4 oz from each side before each feeding at 6 AM, 9 AM, and Noon. That meant that I had a 4 1/2 oz bottle ready for Tristin's 9 PM feeding. I (or his dad, or his granny) gave him the bottle, and then at about 10:30 I pumped again - this time getting 4-6 oz in one sitting, since it had been four and a half hours since I'd nursed. I popped that bottle in the fridge, and used it for his bedtime feed the following evening. In this manner, I was able to build up to where I always had 2 bottles worth in the fridge, AND I was freezing 10-12 oz per day. (See end of post for storage tips.)

Ok, that got a little off topic, but that's how you go about making sure that somebody else gets the chance to have feeding-bonding time with baby, without damaging your supply.

See, what your doctors, nurses, mothers, and possibly even lactation consultants don't tell you is that your pump does not stimulate a letdown reflex nearly as well as your baby does. Since you get no letdown, you don't express as much milk using a pump as you do while actually nursing. This leads to the mistaken belief that you don't produce enough milk ("But I'm only making 1 oz every 3 hours!"), and, much more serious, it doesn't actually drain your breasts. And the only way to make your body make more milk is to completely drain your breasts at regular intervals. Now, your baby is able to accomplish that for you; your pump is not. Don't believe me? Try this:

After baby has nursed to his satisfaction, hand him off to your partner, or put him in his crib, playpen, bassinet, or what have you. Beginning at your collarbone, massage in slow, firm-but-gentle circles downwards towards your nipple. Once you get ther, support your breast with one hand and roll the areola between the thumb and forefinger of the other hand. You might see a drop or to of milk expressed.

Now, do the same thing after you pump next time. Did you spray 4 feet across the room? See, TOLD you you're not empty. Your breast is just (very wisely) trying to hold onto that milk until baby comes to take it out. Moral of the story: if you pump instead of nursing, you may actually be causing the supply issue.

So, that about sums up DON'T pump and then bottle feed.

2) DON'T stress about eating/drinking right!

Basically, you can eat/drink whatever you did before becoming pregnant while breastfeeding. One of the biggest reasons women cite for giving up on breastfeeding is that it's too hard to follow the "rules". So throw them away! (Yes, yes, hypocrisy, irony, how well I know thee.) There is a caveat to this: don't use breastfeeding the way some women use pregnancy, i.e. as an excuse to eat whatever they're "craving" because that "must be what baby needs". However, there is no one perfect diet. It is possible that some of what you eat will need to change; baby may be sensitive to some foods (tomatoes and citrus are quite common), or have no tolerance for caffeine (bye-bye, coffee and chocolate!), but only you and your baby can decide that - and not all babies have the same intolerances.

Can you drink coffee while nursing? Absolutely. I wouldn't suggest drinking it after about 3 PM; your baby WILL get the caffeine from your system, and if you're trying to teach him to sleep at night, that won't be helpful. The reason many medical professionals say Absolutely No Coffee is because it's a diuretic and may reduce your supply, if you allow yourself to become dehydrated. Many new mums hear No Coffee and think it's for the same reason that you shouldn't have coffee during pregnancy: that is, that it can actually harm the baby. This is not the case; the risk of coffee during pregnancy is more related to a reduction in placental blood volume, resulting in low birth weight and a host of other problems.

Can you drink beer/wine/liquor while nursing?

This is a somwhat delicate issue, so I will hedge my reply a bit. There is absolute truth in the old wives' tale that a glass of stout (think Guinness) will help your milk production. I don't know if the same is true of paler ales. As for the question of drinking and nursing in general, I go by the rule that if you can't drive, you can't nurse. However, I don't see a particular problem in having the occasional drink with dinner. I don't pump and dump after doing so. My argument stems from several theories. First, let's look at some math:

Beer has 5% alcohol. If I drink 2 beers (24 oz) that works out to about 1.1 oz, or 22 ml, of pure alcohol.

After 2 beers, my blood alcohol level is probably about 0.05%. I estimate this based on the fact that the legal limit is 0.08, and while I wouldn't drive after 2 beers unless it was an emergency, I feel comfortable that I would still pass at a checkstop.

My son takes about 8-10 oz per feeding. Assuming my breastmilk has the same amount of alcohol as my blood (reasonable assumption), 0.05% of 10 oz is 0.005 oz, or 0.15 ml of alcohol.

Second, let's look at the ingredients on gripe water.

Get the picture?

3) DO sleep when baby sleeps!

This is a good tip for any new mum, but especially important if you're nursing. Oxytocin and prolactin, the hormones responsible for milk production, drop drastically the longer you're awake. They tend to peak after about 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep; thus the good ol' 2AM feeding. However, until your baby is sleeping more at night than during the day, you should just sleep every time he does, for as long as you can. Dad can do the dishes and the laundry for once. Oh, and if you don't like having a 9 PM bedtime, well, tough. Until your supply is well established, you can't risk staying up past baby's bedtime - especially if he's not sleeping reliably at night yet.

4) DO invest in a good nursing bra! (Or several! In different sizes!)

Your breasts may or may not change sizes, become rigid (engorged), or leak during your breastfeeding journey. Regardless, it is very important to wear a good bra. Breastfeeding has been made complicated enough without the added complications of back/neck/shoulder strain or skin damage/stretch marks from the sudden increase in the weight of your breasts.

5) DO what feels right!

In an earlier post, I mentioned that I nursed on a schedule. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle nursing on demand with my baby, and to be honest I didn't think being "on demand" was helping my supply any; Tristin wanted to nurse 100% of the time he was awake, so I never had any time to build up any significant amount of milk in my breasts, which meant that he never got full, which meant that he never slept for more than 45 minutes at a stretch, which meant that he was awake and wanting to nurse. Bad circle to be in. So, it was a very, very difficult 3 days, but by the end of 3 days he was getting a full tummy every three hours, and by the end of the week he was sleeping 5-7 hours in a row, AT NIGHT. (Please note: if he was asleep at the time of a scheduled feeding, I woke him up. He usually went right back to sleep after, but that way we never got off schedule.)

The schedule was right for us. It might not be right for you. All babies are different. So, if it feels right to you to eat an extra meal, to cut out chocolate, to drink exactly 8 litres of water a day - do whatever feels right to you. If you're finding yourself stressed out about breastfeeding, chances are you're trying to do it someone else's way, not yours.

Good luck!


(N.B. A little about milk storage: There are mixed opinions on the length of time you can store milk. The times listed are on the outside of what I felt comfortable with.

Fridge: store at the back, away from the door, in a container that has been carefully cleaned and has an airtight seal. Can be used up to 6 days after pumping. Milk may separate; shake gently, but only immediately before warming to serve or you'll make butter.

Freezer compartment of fridge: store at back, away from door, in sterile container - either the disposable bags or storage bottles that have been boiled. Can be used up to 2 months after freezing.

Deep freeze: store in bottom, away from door, in sterile container. Can be used up to 6 months after freezing.

Thawed milk from freezer: If thawing in fridge, allow 12 hours. Can be used up to 24 hours after thawing, or 36 hours after removal from freezer. If thawing at room temperature, allow 3 hours. Can be used up to 8 hours after thawing, provided that it has been placed in fridge after thawing. Otherwise, must be used immediately.)

On Cloth Diapers.

I started thinking about cloth diapering sometime in the second trimester of pregnancy. When Tristin's dad was laid off at the beginning of my third trimester, I decided we were definitely cloth diapering, and I went out and bought stacks of prefolds and covers. Wess was hesitant about cloth diapering to say the least, but confronted with the reality of having a baby while he was laid off and I was on maternity leave, coupled with the overwhelming cost savings of cloth diapers, and he was sold on it. "Provided," he added, "that YOU do all the laundry!" (Like that was anything new.)

We kept to the prefolds until Tristin was nearly 4 months old. And, honestly, if he wasn't so HUGE (see end of previous post for his weight gain) we probably would have used them for longer. However, since he outgrew the diaper covers that I had bought by the time he was 3 months old, I decided we needed another approach: one-size diapers. After fairly exhaustive research, I narrowed my choices down to three: Happy Heinys, Knickernappies, and FuzziBunz. (Apologies; I will hotlink to their sites eventually, but I haven't used HTML in a long time and am rusty; for now, you can find them by typing the brand names into Google.) I ordered a sample of each from Heather at Cloth Diaper Outlet (www.clothdiaperoutlet.com) in order to decide which kind would make up the bulk of my stash. I came to the following conclusion:

FuzziBunz are the greatest invention ever.

For those of you unfamiliar with cloth diapering, FuzziBunz is the brand name of the original "Pocket Diaper". Pocket diapers operate on a fairly self-explanatory principle: they are comprised of a waterproof outer layer, with a fleece or microsuede layer next to baby's bottom. At the back of the diaper is an opening between these to layers, into which you can stuff an insert. The fleece acts as a stay-dry layer, since liquids pass through it easily; the insert(s) absorbs these liquids, and any overflow is kept inside by the waterproof outer. All three of the brands mentioned above are pocket diapers; FuzziBunz are by far and away the best of the three. My son's morning diaper is so wet that it weighs well over a pound, but his clothes and skin are dry. And only twice in the five months that we've been using them have we had an issue with a blowout. So I'll say it again:

FuzziBunz are the Greatest. Invention. EVER.

On Breastfeeding.

At 9 months of age, my son has never even tasted infant formula. I am justifiably proud of this fact, and so will be blogging about the remainder of our breastfeeding journey (hopefully another year or so!). There is a wealth of breastfeeding information out there. Most of what I'm going to say here won't surprise you. One thing definitely will, so I'll get it out there right now:

Feeding on demand is for crap.

At least, it was with my kid. My nipples would have chapped, dried out, cracked, and eventually fallen off by the time Tristin was 2 weeks old had I nursed him on demand. Demand, for him, was 8-12 hours a day. Not 8-12 times, mind you; 8-12 hours. He wanted to be latched on every second that he was awake. It was so bad that by the time he was 4 days old I'd broken the first cardinal rule of breastfeeding and bought him a pacifier, for all the good that did - by that point it was too late for him to start using one. So, I gritted my teeth and put him on a nursing schedule, and stuck to it until he was 5 months old. It was a pretty generous schedule, as feeding schedules go; at each feeding, he was allowed to nurse until there was no milk left, or until he spontaneously let go, and feedings started every 3 hours. Our days looked something like this:

6 AM: Wake up, nurse, hang out singing/reading/playing/watching the news.
7:15 AM: Dirty diaper. (This diaper was usually epic, as Tristin got the hang of not pooping overnight by the time he was about 10 days old.)
7:30 AM: Nap.
9 AM: Wake up, nurse, change diaper, hang out.
10:30 AM: Nap.
Noon: Wake up, nurse, change diaper, walk.
1:30 PM: Nap.
3 PM: Wake up, nurse, change diaper, hang out.
4:30 PM: Nap.
6 PM: Wake up, nurse, change diaper, hang out - this hang-out lasted quite a bit longer than the others all day long, because Tristin settled into sleeping longer hours at night by the time he was two weeks old. I think it was because of the nursing schedule, in all honesty.
8:30 PM: bath, pj's, book.
9 PM: Nurse (to sleep)
3 AM: Nurse.
6 AM: Lather, rinse, repeat.

I started him on the feeding schedule when he was about 4 or 5 days old. It sucked at first; he was fussy all through the evening, and the only way to appease him was to keep moving: dancing, walking, bouncing, rocking, or (as a last resort) buckling him into his carrier carseat and swinging him, since he didn't have much use for the actual baby swing we got (for free, thank goodness!). He got used to nursing by the clock within 3 days, and typically only started fussing about 10 minutes before feeding time. By the time he was 8 days, he started sleeping more at night than during the day. By 2 weeks, he was sleeping for 5-7 hours in a row, from 9 PM to 2-4 AM, consistently. I credit the schedule; it is well-documented that a bedtime routine is important to establish good sleep habits. I am of the opinion that it is equally important to have a routine pretty much all day.

And for those who argue that breastfeeding on demand is the only way to ensure your baby is getting enough to eat when exclusively breastfed, I leave you with Tristin's monthly weight gain to date:

Birth Weight: 8 lbs, 7 oz
7-day Well Baby Checkup: 8 lbs, 4 oz
9-day weigh in, prior to circumcision: 8 lbs, 10 oz
1 month: 11 lbs, 12 oz
2 months: 15 lbs, 2 oz
3 months: 17 lbs, 15 oz
4 months: 21 lbs, 1 oz
5 months: 22 lbs, 4 oz (began solids at 5 months, 2 weeks)
6 months: 23 lbs, 7 oz
7 months: 24 lbs, 5 oz
8 months: 24 lbs, 14 oz
9 months: 25 lbs, 4 oz

(9 month weight added Feb. 8, 2009, after today's doctor's checkup!)

On Cosleeping.

Cosleeping, for us, was more-or-less a conscious decision. I'd read a little about it, and knew (if only in an abstract kind of way) that I wanted my baby as close to me as possible. The second he was born, there was nothing abstract about it; I literally didn't put him down until he was about 3 weeks old except for diaper changes.

I was a little nervous about cosleeping at first; we have two cats, one of which is accustomed to sleeping between Wess and I. The obvious solution was to have Tristin between me and the edge of the bed, but I was nervous about this too - how could I make sure that he wouldn't fall off, or get underneath my pillow, or any of the other myriad awful things that the anti-cosleeping contingent would have you believe happen to EVERY baby that sleeps in its parents' bed?

Fortunately, the answer was quite simple, and Tristin pretty much came up with it himself by the time he was 2 or 3 days old. We had one of those pads for on top of his change table that has a scooped-out middle; Tristin was born the day after the table and crib were delivered, and what with bringing home a baby, it was quite some time before they were assembled. However, we did have the change pad, and it came about that he fell asleep on it one day quite soon after he was brought home. Ta-da! We had our solution. The change pad moved upstairs onto the family bed, and I rested quite a bit easier with Tristin having a defined space in the bed that was his.

We continued using the change pad until Tristin was old enough to roll out of it - about 4 1/2 months. Then we just switched to sleeping right in bed with me; at a hefty 22 lbs, I was not nearly so worried about not noticing him in the bed anymore. We fell into a pattern that we still continue with today: he takes his naps on his own in the crib, and (usually) sleeps in the crib from bedtime at 8 until his first wake-up to nurse, around 11:30 or 12. I come to bed whenever that first nursing session happens, and we cuddle together, nursing 2-3 times overnight, until 8 AM when he gets breakfast in bed and we get up together. The cosleeping is working quite well, except for the fact that my sleep is very, very broken overnight, but as long as I'm able to lie down in the afternoon for what I call my "unchaperoned" nap - while Tristin is in his crib - I get by just fine.

(N.B. Yes, most babies can sleep the night through without nursing after 6 months. However, for coslept babies, one year is the usual age for night-weaning.)

I won't lie. There are days when I'm so tired that I wish he would sleep the whole night through in his crib. The 3 occasions that this has happened shocked me so much I was unable to sleep, waking up to check on him every 3 hours or so, leaving me frazzled and frustrated that I couldn't just take advantage of my great good fortune. In my darker moments, I despair of ever sleeping through the night again. But then I remind myself of all the reasons I wanted to cosleep in the first place, and that it's not going to last forever; after all, no high-school student has ever needed to be nursed to sleep in his mummy's bed.

On Teething.

I hate teething. Tristin has his 2 bottom teeth now, and is currently aspiring towards his first top one; he is miserable much of the time, and cranky the rest of it. Only a few months ago I hated the idea of drugging my child into submission; now, I reach for the Advil drops without hesitation. I hate for my poor guy to be in so much pain. And, of course, there's the other problem: the biting.

Now, my kid is not a biter. Anything he picks up tends to gravitate towards his mouth, including mummy's fingers, toes, eyebrows, or whatever. But he doesn't bite the way some children do - with deliberate, malicious intent. His new teeth just inevitably end up on or in whatever he was taste-testing. Including, on a couple of occasions, mummy's nipples - although it's only happened a couple of times, and not for several weeks now. However, as much as I wish for that top tooth to pop through and stop plaguing him quite so much, I also dread it - what'll happen to my poor breasts when he's got top chompers too?

Hello!

I'm somewhat late starting this out - I really ought to have started it nine months ago, today. Those of you who have known me for some time know that, once upon a time, I used to write often. So here I am, starting all over again, with a brand-new cast of characters. Enjoy!