Sunday, September 5, 2010

On 48 Hours... Alone.

Tristin's at his dad's for a two-night visit.

This is not the first one. In fact, it is the second one. Last time, I went to see him after the first 24 hours... and he was so sad, he missed me so much, that I ended up taking him home with me for most of the afternoon.

I am at a loss, this evening. I had no plans, no friends to visit, no money to take myself out for a movie... I didn't much feel like being around people, and now, now I don't feel much like being alone. I know that this feeling of disconnectedness owes much to the fact that I haven't been away from Tristin much through his entire life. I know that, at this point, I really shouldn't be at such loose ends after only 12 hours without him - especially considering that I need to be getting back to work soon - but, there it is. I miss him so much. I miss being able to go to his room at this hour, and see his sleeping face, and hear him breathing, and rest my hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. And I have, perhaps, 12 more hours before I can see him again.

I miss him so much.