I've been reminded that I haven't updated in a really, really long time. I do have a reason for this: I'm angry, sometimes so angry that I want to scream, shout, yell, and swear... and I don't want this to turn into one of "those" single-parent blogs. You know the ones I'm talking about. Full of vitriol and bile, and not actually sharing anything relevant about anything, just the same issues regurgitated over and over, not going anywhere.
So I took a little break.
A lot has happened since then. I've moved in with my parents (which really, deserves its own entry, so I'll try to remember to write that soon), am STILL looking for a job (and honestly considering emailing my former boss to see if I can have my old job back, despite passionately not wanting it), am making a conscientious effort to stay involved with my flesh-and-blood friends and not retreat into the pixel world completely, have lost almost 25 lbs (out of the 80 I needed to lose at the beginning of this), and am currently working on developing a schedule/routine that will continue to serve me once I've got my own place.
Tristin is doing well, despite constant small interruptions to his routine; regardless of what happens during the day, I'm striving to keep the hours from 8:30 PM (bedtime) to 7:30 AM (breakfast) pretty consistent. With a few small setbacks, it seems to be working; he seems more settled than he has in a few weeks, and although still exhibiting some anxiety around strangers and a great deal more general crankiness and fussiness than was his wont just a couple of short months ago, he is much more himself than he was a couple of weeks ago during the worst of the uproar.
Other than that, I've been savouring these last few weeks before my return to work; I know that at any time I could, potentially, get a phone call that I simultaneously long for and dread - the one that sends me back to work. Tristin and I have been walking every day that the weather allows, and sometimes even when it's not... we've spent time at the Street Performers Festival, and several parks, and the same Rec Centre pool where he had his birthday party. And we've just been taking each day as it comes, and basking in grace when and where we can find it.
All my Thoughts on Thoughts and Prayers
2 weeks ago