On Alone Time.

One of the hardest things I have to do as a young mum is make myself leave Tristin at home once in a while. I hate doing it, but it's necessary for me to stay sane. I love my son; I love spending time with him, playing with him, watching him discover things. I love the expressions on his face, the sounds that he's learning he can make, and all the little mannerisms he's developing. There is no question that I love him more than anything in the world, and that's why it's important for me to take some alone time once or twice a week.

When I'm at home, I'm a wife, mother, doctor, maid, cook, dishwasher, laundress, seamstress, carpenter, and any one of a thousand more roles that need filling around the house. I never have more than a minute or two to myself - and then something else needs doing. (Even now, I could be washing the floors, trying to fix the broken mop, putting the laundry away, folding diapers, cleaning the dishes from breakfast...you get the idea.) Once in a while, it's important for me to get out, without Tristin, and remind myself that I am also myself. That, in addition to all the things I am for other people, I am also me.

So how do I do that? Well, I go out for coffee with "the girls", visit friends, read books, watch movies, go for walks. Eventually, I'd really like to start going to the gym a few times a week. Or maybe take a class - I can feel my brain beginning to atrophy from lack of use. (You may or may not believe me, but I am a University graduate twice-over.) I'd like to start writing again - not a log, like this one, but a collection of short narratives. I'd like to rediscover my love of, and gift for, the written word.

I think one of the most important things new mums can do is to set themselves goals that relate more to who they were B.B. (Before Baby) than their new lives as mothers. It's easy to lose ourselves in the needs of our new families, but in the long run, what our families need is us, whole and happy. So sign up for a class, get back into running, or start a book club. Whatever you do, make sure that it's just for you!