On Miscellany.

Yes, I'm bad, I haven't updated in ages. So here's a smorg:

• Tristin still refuses to walk when I can see him, but has now walked for his dad AND his auntie Cath.
• Tristin is now all-out refusing to go to bed without me, and as a result I either have to let him stay up until eleven, or go to bed myself at nine. Either way, I no longer get any time to myself at all. This is not my favourite phase ever.
• I have learned two things: one, that it's probably not a good idea to put a one-year-old's entire dinner on his high-chair-tray all at once. Two: My son REALLY likes green beans, and can fit about 25 of them in his mouth at the same time.
• Instant karma is fabulous. On my way to help out a friend (who really, really needed it), I stopped at the drive-thru for a coffee - which the lady in front of me paid for.
• The hunt for a job continues. The less said on that, the better.

I'm having a pretty rough time of it, all in all; it's beginning to feel a lot like everything I try, I fail at. In a big, big way.

On Walking It Out.

So, last week Tristin and I joined a local walking group. Once a week, the crew gets together somewhere in the river valley, and walk for about 5 km. A friend of mine does all the work, researching routes and posting maps; Tristin and I just show up with the Ergo, sneakers, water, and a warm blankie for him on days like last Tuesday (and tomorrow, if the forecast is to be believed). Las week we had a fabulous time, although due to the local paper showing up and taking pictures of us walking up and down hills for 20 minutes, my stamina was not quite up to the full 5 km carrying a 27 lb toddler. Fortunately, a friend's husband was more than glad to step in, so we did in fact finish the walk. Tris had a great time, and we even got our picture in the paper!

On that note, we're all meeting up tomorrow at 7:00 at Government House. Come out for a (yes, cold and snowy!) walk and great conversation!

On Birthday Parties, and Turning One.

Today was Tristin's first birthday party! Despite a rough start to the day (I was unable to find one of the necessary ingredients for the frosting recipe I was planning on using, which resulted in a less-than-perfect substitute), we had an absolutely fabulous day! We went swimming for about an hour at the local Rec Centre, which has a wave pool (edit: amazing wave pool!) and a toddler pool (edit: fabulous toddler pool). Tristin had such a wonderful time swimming there that it has strengthened my resolve to get out swimming at least every other week this summer, more if possible! In fact, he was so tired after swimming that I'm kind of inclined to do it many, MANY times this summer as we work towards sleeping 6-7 hours at night. But I digress.

After swimming, we had a little party in the upstairs rec room, which was probably one of the best ideas I've ever had in my life. Despite the cake falling short of my hopes, and despite several last-minute cancellations, we still had a great time with 3 of Tristin's best friends (almost more like cousins really!), half-a-dozen aunties and uncles, and my parents and grandmother. Words can't describe how happy it makes me that Tristin's great-grandmother got to be there to celebrate his first birthday! All in all, it was a great time - and a learning experience: always, ALWAYS make a practice cake first!

On Schedules.

Some things, I can do on a schedule. I can say, with reasonable certainty, that dinner will be on the table at seven. That Tris's bath will be at eight. That he will wake up sometime between midnight and 12:30 to nurse; that we will be out of bed for the morning at about a quarter past eight. I am fairly reliable when it comes to keeping doctor's appointments, or picking people up from the airport or bus station.

However, that's about it. I have no idea, for the most part, how long it will take me to get ready to leave the house in the morning. I honestly couldn't tell you what time Tristin will want to take a nap, or when he will nurse during the day*. I'm not very good at meeting up for coffee, especially if we've tried to plan it a few days in advance, and for that, I am sorry. But the fact of the matter is, I have a ten-month-old baby. In all probability, I got less than five hours of sleep the previous night**, haven't had any caffeine in three days, can't remember the last time I took a shower that lasted for more than seven minutes, and don't even realize that one or both sides of my nursing bra are undone. So I apologize for not being on time, or even showing up at all; but really, truly, I promise, it's not personal.







* For those of you who would smugly point out "But I thought you ALWAYS nursed Tristin on a schedule," I would like to draw your attention to the fact that Tristin' hasn't been on a nursing schedule since he was about five months old. Much to my chagrin. And yes, this has been mentioned on this blog before.

** Actually, this one isn't so much a probability as a near-certainty, since I haven't had more than five hours' sleep since Tristin was four months old. (And yes, I DO think that the nursing schedule, and subsequent lack thereof, are related to the fact that Tristin still nurses at night.)

On Other Parents.

Everybody who has children, or pets, or a marriage, or a car, or shoes, knows how irritating it can be to be on the receiving end of unsolicited advice. This can be anything from an innocuous, "Have you heard of/tried/thought about such-and-such store, product, sleep method, book, etc.?" to a passive aggressive "Well, I was always taught that doing things that way would make your child a sissy/mentally unstable/codependent/a vegetarian," to flat-out ignoring the wishes of the parent (and possibly child) by actually touching/feeding/speaking to the baby in a manner that has been expressly forbidden by the parent.

Most of us smile at the first, politely ignore the second (which, interestingly enough, is most common amongst people with no children of their own), and walk away from the third. A greater challenge is to keep ourselves from becoming that which we loathe, by becoming obnoxious founts of unwanted opinions on everything. (Yes, this blog contains both advice and opinions. However, I am not running around shoving it down other parents' throats, and I have tried to ensure that any advice I offer is accompanied by the disclaime that I am not an authority, simply a mum sharing what has and hasn't worked for me. Further to which, it's entirely possible that you came to this blog looking for advice, making it solicited. But I digress.) It means that we have to look away when our friends make parenting choices that we disagree with - because otherwise, we would have no friends who were parents. Let's face it, you and your friends are not going to have the same opinions on feeding, clothing, solids, diapers, toilet training, toys, television, sleeping, or prety much anything else. So don't bother trying to change your friend - share your views if asked, but otherwise, just keep your peace.