On Coming Home.

So we're home and mostly settled in post-Mexico. Laundry's al done, and I'm getting back into the routine - including applying for work, but more on that as it progresses.

I'm finding it hard to get motivated again now that we're back. Nurse, breakfast, dishes, garbage, nurse, laundry, vacuum, lunch, nurse, nap... more of the same. I love being a stay-at-home mum, but increasingly it feels like I've been trapped. I think a change of significant magnitude is necessary. Something bigger than rearranging the furniture or cleaning out the closets. Work will be a big change, although I wish it wasn't necessary - but maybe it will be what I need. Otherwise, I'm not sure what it's going to take for me to feel comfortable in my skin again!

On Schedules.

Some things, I can do on a schedule. I can say, with reasonable certainty, that dinner will be on the table at seven. That Tris's bath will be at eight. That he will wake up sometime between midnight and 12:30 to nurse; that we will be out of bed for the morning at about a quarter past eight. I am fairly reliable when it comes to keeping doctor's appointments, or picking people up from the airport or bus station.

However, that's about it. I have no idea, for the most part, how long it will take me to get ready to leave the house in the morning. I honestly couldn't tell you what time Tristin will want to take a nap, or when he will nurse during the day*. I'm not very good at meeting up for coffee, especially if we've tried to plan it a few days in advance, and for that, I am sorry. But the fact of the matter is, I have a ten-month-old baby. In all probability, I got less than five hours of sleep the previous night**, haven't had any caffeine in three days, can't remember the last time I took a shower that lasted for more than seven minutes, and don't even realize that one or both sides of my nursing bra are undone. So I apologize for not being on time, or even showing up at all; but really, truly, I promise, it's not personal.







* For those of you who would smugly point out "But I thought you ALWAYS nursed Tristin on a schedule," I would like to draw your attention to the fact that Tristin' hasn't been on a nursing schedule since he was about five months old. Much to my chagrin. And yes, this has been mentioned on this blog before.

** Actually, this one isn't so much a probability as a near-certainty, since I haven't had more than five hours' sleep since Tristin was four months old. (And yes, I DO think that the nursing schedule, and subsequent lack thereof, are related to the fact that Tristin still nurses at night.)